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Tips for Resolving Conflict: One Note Charlie
Excerpt from The Mediator's Handbook
by Jennifer Beer with Eileen Stief,
© 1997 Friends Conflict Resolution Programs
Dug into the Sand
What can we do with One-Note-Charlie? It doesn't matter what anyone else says or suggests, he just puts forth exactly the same demand---over and over.
- Return to exploring interests. Chances are that Charlie feels that some strong interest of his has either not been heard or not taken into account.
- Shift the conversation away from that issue. Find some subject for which Charlie does not already have a set answer. If they can get somewhere with the new topic, you can probably return to the first issue later with less trouble.
- Take Charlie aside and be direct. You've been saying the same two sentences for the last hour and it is not getting you anywhere. Ask what is most important to him, what possible outcomes might satisfy him. Then discuss how he can get there.
- Speak to whatever fear, need to maintain face, or desire to control you think may be motivating Charlie to dig in his heels. What does he stand to lose if he agrees to settle? (This may need a Separate Meeting.) Charlie, are you concerned that if you give an inch on this issue, you'll lose control of how your tenants treat the property?
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